Time to Go
by CharmedReality
Summary: Alford takes a hard look at his life and makes an even harder decision. Set a few years in the future. Conrad/Alford


**Time to Go**

It had been awhile since he'd been traveling, but he still knew how to pack lightly and well. He knew what needed to be folded and what would fit better without. He knew all the tricks of saving space and he needed them all this time. He had accumulated things in the last few years. Most of it he was leaving behind, but some things he'd grown attached to.

His deft fingers faltered for a moment when he heard the familiar cadence of approaching footsteps in the hall just beyond the room. He knew it was Conrad without having to look up, so he didn't. It was easier that way.

"Alford? What are you doing?"

His forked brows tightened slightly at the question. It felt insulting after everything they had been through. "You know what I'm doing, Conrad." He could almost feel the resulting frown from the other man. He remembered the first time he made the half Mazoku frown. It seemed like some kind of victory to get past that ever-present smile.

Conrad's voice softened slightly as he spoke again. "You don't need to go so soon. At least wait until morning."

Alford's hand tightened into a fist and his jaw clenched firmly. It was exactly the kind of thing Conrad would say. And that was the problem after all. It had been five years and he was still treated like a guest in the other man's bed.

He let the half-packed sack fall back against the bed and turned toward his fellow brunet. "I do need to go now, Conrad. I have a life I need to get back to. I can't let myself be sidetracked any longer."

Alford watched as some unexpressed emotion flashed in Conrad's eyes. They were always more honest than his lips.

"I'm sorry you feel your time here was wasted," Conrad responded with a chill in his voice.

The human stepped forward. "Don't do that. Don't feel sorry for yourself. This is what you wanted."

"I told you that you were welcome to stay here," Conrad defended.

"And I asked you to be my husband."

"I already explained why…"

"You hide behind your duties," Alford accused.

"If that's what you believe then this never could have worked."

Alford reached out and grabbed Conrad's wrist. The soldier initially jerked back, but did not break free and did not try further. "I don't want to fight you, Conrad. That may be how we met, but it isn't how I want to leave. Just…"

Words had never been Alford's strong suit, so he stepped closer to kiss the older man who no longer appeared older. The struggle on Conrad's part seemed little more than pretense as he settled into the kiss. Alford could feel the soldier's hand tighten just slightly on his jacket. This part of the relationship had never been the problem.

"Everything I said to you," Alford began as their lips parted but he stayed close, "I meant. If you change your mind…" But he wouldn't and Alford knew that. He wouldn't be leaving if he wasn't absolutely certain. "You'll be able to find me."

Alford started to turn back to the sack on the bed, but Conrad's hand tightened further, holding him in place. Blue-green eyes met brown and they were silent for a few, long moments. He wished Conrad would say something. He'd been hoping for that for years. He supposed he couldn't blame the man. There was no denying that they experienced the passage of time differently both in the impact to their bodies and the perception of their minds.

Slowly, the swordsman's fingers loosened and Alford was free again. Returning to his bag, he managed to put away a few more things before slinging it over his shoulder along with the holy sword.

He'd already shared parting words with Yuuri and Yozak and some of the others he'd grown closer to over the years. So, there was nothing left to do but go. But when he looked back at his lover, roommate, and friend he felt like there were still too many things left unsaid and undone, but he didn't know where to start, so he did what he always did in those situations. He quoted his father.

"It's not an end, it's a beginning."

Alford watched the barest of smiles appear on Conrad's lips before disappearing again. This time it was Conrad who crossed the distance between them to join their lips. This kiss, perhaps their last kiss, was tender. It reminded Alford of why he had unwisely asked for marriage. Because he loved him.

If only that had been enough.

As Alford left the room he'd lived in for the past several years, he couldn't help thinking that maybe his father was wrong about this one. It definitely felt like an ending.

----

**| Epilogue |**

Alford shifted restlessly on the cold, hard ground. He was having trouble sleeping and not just because of the lack of mattress. It had been a long time since he'd slept without Conrad at his side at least for more than a few nights at at time.

This was his fifth night without him since leaving. It seemed to be getting harder, not easier and his assurances to himself that he'd done the right thing were cold comfort.

The human pulled himself upright and gazed around the campsite. He had distanced himself from the road. He told himself it was to avoid bandits while he slept, but he had another reason he didn't quite admit. He was afraid if he made himself too accessible, that it would be all the more disappointing when Conrad didn't show up. He knew better than that. The prince had his pride after all and if the situation was going to remain unchanged then there was no reason for him to follow.

Since sleep was eluding him and travel was unwise without even the stars' guidance while under the thick canopy of tree limbs, he decided to stoke the fire. A little warmth might change his perspective.

He stared into the flickering light until his eyelids and limbs grew heavier than his heart.

Alford awoke to the sound of a man clearing his throat next to him. He was upright in a moment, reaching for his sword before shock froze him in place.

"You said I'd be able to find you, but you didn't say how difficult it would be. Of course, it wasn't as hard as losing you in the first place."

"Conrad..." Alford whispered. He opened his eyes wider, trying to find proof that the vision before him was just a mirage or a dream, but the soldier remained unwavering and watching him with apologetic eyes.

"I learned something when you left, Alford. It's something I should have figured out a long time ago, but I've never been as quick as you at picking up on things. I realized I couldn't sleep without you. And if I can't sleep without you, then I can't live without you. And if I can't live without you, then I should be doing everything in my power to prove myself worthy to be your husband."

Alford didn't wait to hear any more as he lunged forward taking the older man in his arms and meeting his lips. They could talk more about this later, at home, after someone pried them apart.


End file.
